18 Dating Rules to Teach to My Sons

18 Dating Rules to Teach to My Sons;

With 3 boys ages 18, 16 and 11 I’ve got my work cut out for me. I’m a mom that feels a strong social responsibility to leave the world a better place and I have 3 boys that may potentially break some hearts over the coming years. As a stay at home, home school mom, I was more worried about books than looks, and I found myself with an 18 year old in college with his 1st girlfriend and never a lesson on dating….. Hmmm! Uncharted waters that I’d never considered left me writing this post as an open letter to my sons with hopes that moms all over can save and share this to remember that relationships are the essence of life. And, that great relationships feed your soul like grapes are to wine, or tear you down like an eroding embankment in a rain storm eating away until the person you though your were is no more.

There’s so much to consider – your family, her family, society, kids. Even though so much of dating is modeled behavior by the time your kids leave home you will have been with your spouse so long that your sons will have missed many aspects of dating in your relationships.

So, here are my 20 dating rules to teach my next sons, before they’re grown and off too;

1) When you find yourself attracted to a girl always ask for a date in person. Skip Skype, Facetime, text messaging, e-mails or social media. There will be plenty of time for that in the future but most girls love an old fashioned heart so stick with person to person requests.

2. Plan your date at a place where she’ll be comfortable and feel safe – keep it rather public like a picnic in a park, touring of a local museum, concert, movie or dinner. There’s nothing wrong with a no cost date where you pack the lunch but if you go out to a movie, show or event – plan to pay for her. Period! If you’re strapped for cash your father and I will make sure you have a reasonable about of money for a date or provide opportunities to earn money for your date.

3. Don’t beep when you arrive at her house or apartment. Knock on her door, dorm or room. Don’t Facetime, Skype or text that you’ve arrived. At the end of the date plan to walk her back – no dropping off, honking as you drive away with a wave.

4. Open doors for her, like we’ve taught you to open for your sister and me, allow her to step in front of you through a door, push in her chair at a restaurant, and always open her car door first.

5. Be connizant of your surrounding before you make a decision to kiss or not at the end of a date.  Don’t be afraid to kiss the right girl but be sure not to kiss every girl. There’s nothing wrong with a kiss on the forehead if a girl is going back home where she lives with extended family or a college dorm room where you’ll be in public eye.

6. Be yourself, silly and fun and full of life. There will be so many things in life that will tear your down and only your relationships will keep you strong so be yourself and love who you’ve come to be. Wear a chicken hat to make her laugh or make a kings hat and crown her your queen.

7. Ask questions about her, don’t be afraid to share who you are and above all – listen.

8.  Never text other people or take calls on your cell phone while you’re on your 1st 5 dates unless it’s an emergency. Continue to keep texting and calls limited thereafter as well. It’s just rude. If you must reply to a text do so while washing up in the men’s rooms briefly.

9. Be direct. Dating will be a wonderful adventure when you’re always honest and clear. No girls wants to be hurt so be honest from the start – she’ll appreciate it in the long run even if she’s not the right one.

10. If you’ve found a girl to court seriously then stop dating around and be faithful. Above all be faithful and if your hearts intentions should change be direct, honest and kind. She’ll appreciate that over time but always handle her heart with kindness.

11. Take her to meet your family and be sure to spend time with her family. Be genuine and respectful to her parents in every possible way.

12. Hold hands, kiss on the cheek and don’t be afraid to give a hug. She will have been doing these things with her father all her life and it will give her a sense of comfort without confusing the relationship with sexual intimacy too soon.

13. Compliment her and when you see something you admire about her be sure she knows.

14. Surprise her with flowers or kind gestures frequently. Let her see your old fashioned heart and give up a seat for a woman on a train with no where to sit, or help a struggling mom get through a door with a stroller, or give her your jacket if she’s cold.

15. Never tell her you love her if you don’t mean it. You’ll never regret wearing your heart on your sleeve but you will regret words you didn’t mean.

16. Leave love notes often.

17. When you’ve found the right person be sure to go to her parents for their blessing before you drop to your knee and ask 4 short words that will change the course of your life. Her father will want to know how you’ll support a family and her mother will want to know that you’ll always be kind to her.

18. Don’t be afraid to pray together. Something much greater helped you two find each other so never be afraid to offer a prayer of blessing and gratitude. Praying together will show you deep into a person’s soul and be glue for your future.

Take it from a mom who’s working on her 11 year old son and forgot to voice these valuable lessons with her oldest 2 sons in college. Life passes in an instant and there are so few years to shape them forever.