I know this is a hugely controversial topic – co-sleeping with kids. What are your thoughts? Well my kids sometimes sleep in their own beds and sometimes jump in the bed with us but we’re advocates of co-sleeping with our kids. I’ve done quite a bit of research on the topic so I thought I’d share with you the benefits of co-sleeping with your children.
1) I think parents and children sleep better. If your a nursing mom its not secret that you’ll sleep longer if you don’t have to get outta bed to go nurse baby. Just roll over and nurse then go right back to sleep. It may also help prevent SIDS by preventing the infant from entering into sleep states that are too deep. In addition, the parents’ own breathing may help the infant to “remember” to breathe (McKenna, 1990; Mosko, 1996; Richard, 1998).
I also think that parents sleep easier when they are closer to baby because they don’t go to sleep with the worry of “listening” for baby in case of baby becoming sick in the night. I’ll never forget the night I went into my 18 month old son’s room and he had been throwing up and laying in it! 4 kids later I’m pretty savvy with seeing the warning signs of a sick child but with my 1st baby I wasn’t so “seasoned.”
2) Better caregiving of the child through the night. Mothers who co-sleep breastfeed an average of twice as long as non-co-sleeping mothers (McKenna). In addition to the benefits of breastfeeding, the act of sucking increases oxygen flow, which is beneficial for both growth and immune functions. Plus, when parents are co-sleeping with infants, the baby get more attention and protective care. Mothers who co-sleep exhibited five times the number of “protective” behaviors (such as adjusting the infant’s blanket, stroking or cuddling) as solitary-sleeping mothers (McKenna & Mosko, 1997). These mothers also showed an increased sensitivity to the presence of the baby in the bed (McKenna).
3) Reduction of bed time struggles. Most parents that have to put baby, toddler or kids to bed in their own rooms each night face a battle over bedtime. Co-sleeping, generally speaking, eliminates the struggle.
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I think that for every study that has good data supporting co-sleeping, there is another with data against it. I also think it’s a very personal decision for each parent.
Personal feelings aside, the suggestion that I might roll over and smother my baby has kept me from ever being able to get actual sleep while he is in bed with me. I should point out that I have thrashed around in my sleep since my own mother watched me sleep and know that this isn’t going to change simply because I gave birth.
As I am not writing an article, nor do I have the time to research, I can’t quote actual studies with names and dates, but I can, in passing, say that ‘The Baby Bargains Book’ offers statistics (infant mortality rates) on this matter that favor the baby sleeping in his own crib. The AAP or what ever the initials are for the American Association of Pediatrics ( I packed their book away for moving purposes) is also generally in favor sleeping with the infant in the same room but not in the same bed.
All that aside, of the three sets of parents I have witnessed co-sleep, all of them still had trouble getting their kids to sleep and whats more, all of them ended up with their babies in the parent bed long past the age of being appropriate. And it was a huge fight for all of them to break that habit. I am talking twelve years old and still sleeping with mommy. I do concede that these parents were not going to bed at the same time as their kids (it’s probably a contributing factor that the kids did not want to go to bed early) and they where all the type to let their kids eat Mc Donald’s several times a week just to shut them up. Simply put, those parents would never be caught using the cry it out method.
The parents I have seen who send their child to their own bed at a set hour seem to have the easiest time. Again, those are the parents who won’t stand for temper tantrums and have no trouble letting their kids exercise their lungs so maybe it’s all about how we discipline and not how we sleep.
I do understand that many cultures support the family bed as a way of bonding and there is merit in that. When I think about this aspect, I wish co-sleeping were an option for me. I do wonder what extra closeness it actually brings and is that closeness tangible.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and opinions in such a great respectful way. We had a BIG discussion about it on Facebook (Family Frugal Fun facebook page) if you wanna check that out too. Very lively charged topic for sure! ☺